I am an author, and have enjoyed managing and promoting events for a living for almost 10 years now, so making the decision to leave my last job in order to become a freelance writer and event organiser should have been an easy one. Yet the decision proved to be an incredibly difficult one to make and, for a while, live with.
Resigning without another position to walk into was incredibly scary, and felt like a completely irrational action. Everybody knows it is easier to get a job when you already have one, right? We had just had our first child though and going back to work full-time just wasn’t a viable option – financially or emotionally.
It didn’t help that the position I was resigning from was one that I loved, in a company I felt proud to work for, with amazing colleagues. I hadn’t been in the office for several months as I had been on maternity leave, which made walking away easier than it otherwise would have been. If that had not been the case I doubt this situation would ever have crossed my mind, let alone come into fruition.
Even when I had made the decision and handed in my notice I still felt anxious about it. More than one night I lay in bed questioning if I had done the right thing. I mean what was I doing? We had just had a baby. One more mouth to feed, one more person to clothe and I was cutting our monthly income. There was so many ways I doubted the decision. I wondered if maternity leave had made me work-shy and I did not realise it, or if I was unconsciously afraid to go back to work after such a break. I felt like I was voluntarily becoming unemployed, and that I was going to become a drain on my husband, my friends, society.
Then one day it dawned on me. The constant worry and the sleepless nights were completely unfounded. I wasn’t leaving my job and becoming unemployed, I was going to be self-employed. I would still contribute to our family income, I would still be working. Yet this way I get to realise my dream of working for myself, I get to do the work I love, and I can fit it all in around bringing up my daughter. Maybe, once in a while, you do get to have it all.
I know the journey is not going to be easy, but now I can safely say I am looking forward to the challenge.
4 responses to “I am self-employed not unemployed!”
That is hard to be self-employed and get enough money for living.
I am a freelance website developer, that is very very hard to get enough projects!
Hard but satisfying when you can make it work! Thanks for reading my blog. Good luck with your business. If you ever need a UK-based writer for copy for the websites you develop you know where I am! Laura
I agree, writing is self-employment; wordpress is a great place to start.
Thanks for taking the time to read my first blog.